The difference between, “I want the very best for you” and “I won’t hurt you” is the difference between a relationship of thriving and a relationship of surviving. The subtlety of the message contained within those two thoughts is life altering. No one wants to be in a relationship where they perceive, even for a moment, that someone is going to hurt them. That is living in an uncertainty that wears on the mind, body and emotions.
The comfort and rest associated with a true understanding that a person wants the very best for you means they are living in a positive mindset, not from the defensive position. A defensive person is an unstable and erratic individual. They are constantly thinking about how to land the first punch because they believe the worst of themselves and in that belief they begin to define others. What a person believes internally, in their own understanding, is what they project. The calm associated with truly experiencing love is mind boggling particularly to a person that has only known self defense. Real love, without a sense of harm, be it emotional or physical, is unfathomable to a defensive and wounded person. Take some time today to think about the subtlety contained in the slightest difference of terminology. Those differences, without thought, are almost unrecognizable; yet, the effect of such an understanding is experienced by so many on a regular basis. Clearly comprehending our motivational intent is completely centering and necessary for any relationship building process.