I remember this

This week, I’m spending some time rummaging through the historical collectibles of my life. The value of what we pack away is usually more entwined with story than the actuality of expense. Yet, the story is that which has been and is still shaping my life. Walking those well worn pathways of purchase and gifting, reminds me that the substance that I collect is often a reminder of tangible love.

The struggle I find myself having with certain items is tied closely to that very fact. Letting go of the past and making room for the future is a natural part of our existence and the ability to do so allows me the space for breathe and life, basking in the present moment. I never realized the affect that clutter had upon my daily thought processes until many years ago. I had a very specific season where my life took a definitive turn and I found myself sitting in an environment that in no way supported the emotional healing that was needed. The walls were closing in on me mentally and the clutter just pulsated with emotional unrest. What had never been bothersome before was suddenly agitating me in ways that I could only experience not really even understand. I began a renovation, determining what would go and what would stay. Dusting became a good bit more simplistic, the shelves were bare and the decor sparse but my mind was beginning to thank me for the vacancy. It many ways it reaffirmed what I needed to embrace and emotionally gave me a necessary and unimpeded mental canvas.

The items were packed up and stored away to be assessed as my psychological progression allowed. I’m now digging through those boxes. The emotional work of seasons has been completed and I can properly assess, evaluate and release, knowing that I have honored myself and the givers with ample respect.

What happens in your “I remember this” discoveries? Those realizations are very telling about where you are in the process of grief, loss, healing or hope. I’m actually enjoying the meanderings today. I’m looking forward to having available space. I’m anticipating the prospect of openness and I’m amused at what has been. I’d say that is indicative of a person who is alive and living with opportunistic expectation. I’m pleased to know where I stand and through this process my personal understanding just seems to grow.

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